Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Coy Mistress - comments or suggestions?

The rhyme in this works quite well. When I started off I expected this to be about a friend who wants more out of the other friend in terms of unrequited love, and then got to the celibacy part, which is good, because it means the poem is not too telly. This flowed "I hate to use that word) extremely well also, one sentence streamed right into the other, and I love your enjambment and stop rhymes. I wasn't sure about "tease" at first, but within the rhyme scheme it is incredible and just gives the poem that extra touch. You have a talent for building with words.

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